Who do you invite to your wedding?

The first step to planning a wedding is to create your guest list.

The guest list will help you build your budget and know what size venue to book.

Creating the guest list can be tricky, especially when you are combining two different families, two sets of friends & acquaintances and most importantly bringing together yourselves - two very different individual people with your own personal views, values, quirks and social status.

Below I have broken down the different groups of people you need to consider inviting, irrelevant of the number of guests that each person in the relationship has on each side.

Remember you are coming together as one and now COMBINING your life which includes those you know and love in your lives.

Family

When it comes to family, you will want to include both sets of:

Parents
Grandparents
Siblings and their partners and their children*
Aunts, Uncles and Cousins that you see regularly.
Partners & children* of said cousins above.

* See more about children below

Re-consider inviting relatives that you rarely see, or who live abroad and you don't keep in touch with, or whom you simply don't get along with.

Every family dynamic and culture will dictate who you need to invite; the above is just a general guide if you are unsure.

Friends

When it comes to your friends, think of the friends who you will be friends with tomorrow and not who you are friends with today.

If you haven't spoken to them in over a year or communicate with them regularly, then don't feel that you need to send them an invitation.

Also don't confuse yourself with those you stalk on Facebook and feel like you are still in touch with.

Parents Friends

You should have a good idea as to who your parent's friends are. Generally, you also know them, as you have grown up with them and their families, or you see/hear your parents socialising with them often.

If you have decided to add your parent's friends to your guest list, write their names on the guestlist before you chat with them. This will show your parents that you have considered their feelings and relationships.

But it will also prove to them that maybe they have some friends in their life that shouldn't be invited because you never thought to write them down. I think there needs to be some fairness from your parents, that the marrying couple (you) has some idea as to who their friends are and not expect you to invite people you don't know.

Embrace the fact that they will want to celebrate their children finding love and happiness with their closest friends, but maybe you need to install some boundaries with them wishing to invite their tennis friends and work colleagues.

Work Colleagues

Every day you go off to work and hang out with the same people, you spend a considerable amount of time each week growing relationships both professionally and personally with them.

And because you spend more time at work with them, than you do with your fiance at home, you can feel a bit of pressure with who you should invite.

My advice! Only invite those who you have socialised with outside of work or who you see yourself remaining friends with in the future.

This doesn't include the convenient lunch break in the staff room, more so who you would enjoy leaving the office building with and going out with for a coffee, lunch or a drink after work.

Tip: If you find it hard to only invite a couple of people and not everyone, then my advice would be to not to ask anyone from work.

Children

When it comes to children at your wedding, you need to make a clear decision early on if you are happy for children to attend or not.

Reasons you may not want them to attend are:

Cost; each child still requires a seat at a table and catering and then the possibility for a creche or nanny
Rowdiness / noise
Kids can be unpredictable
You want your adult friends to be present as your friends and not as parents

You may decide that you prefer no children to be invited to your wedding; however, you might like to compromise and consider breastfeeding mothers or mothers with very young children (not crawling/walking) along with the children that are in your bridal party.

For wording on how to request that no children are invited to your wedding, read this blog here

Plus 1's

By adding plus 1's to your guest list, your guest list could grow astronomically without even realising!

Only extend a plus-one invitation to:

a guest who might be on their own and not know anyone other than you or someone in the bridal party.
guests who are married, engaged or in a serious relationship

Once your guest list is created

You will be left with a total guest count and this is when you define your wedding budget.

If you find your guest numbers are pushing you past your ideal wedding budget that you wanted to spend, then this is when you need to go back and decide who to remove from your guest list.

If you need help with trimming your guest list, check out this blog here

Until next time

Bel x