Creating and finalising the wedding guest list is a common painful task for many engaged couples. And if you are reading this, it has probably caused you a headache or two as well.
Especially if the guest list is a lot bigger than you first anticipated.
So whether your venue size can't accommodate the numbers or your budget won’t allow it, you might find yourself needing to trim your guest list, so it is a more manageable number.
But where do you start?
Firstly, let me warn you that it is never going to be comfortable removing someone off your guest list that you initially put on there.
With your dream guest list that is too big, use the following suggestions to see who you can trim off the list.
You’re A-List should only include your immediate family, very close relatives, close friends and their partners – people you couldn’t imagine not being there.
This will automatically remove the children from your guest count as a general rule.
You might have single guests attending your wedding that you feel you need to extend a plus one too, however by making a rule not to offer a plus one invitation; this will instantly keep your guest list at a manageable number.
I would only ever suggest extending a plus one to a guest if they will not know anyone else at the wedding. A plus 1 for them would mean they had a familiar face with them to enjoy the day with. While weddings are gatherings/parties where you meet other people, they are not networking events.
Only invite relatives who you see often and have an actual relationship with. Just because you have a 2nd cousin from another state, doesn’t mean they automatically receive an invitation.
This does not include your parents’ tennis buddies who only know you through your parents’ love of always talking about you.
Because you are with your work colleagues 8 hours a day, five days a week, you might feel inclined to invite them all.
If you find it is a little awkward only inviting a few of your closest work buddies, this is where I would suggest not inviting anyone.
If you play netball or soccer on the weekend, this means you play in a team of 11-15 people. If you don't invite them (and their partners), you immediately remove 30 guests from your list.
Similar to the work colleagues, it might be more awkward to invite a few, so best to invite none at all.
Apply the 1-year rule to guests you are still unsure about inviting.
Have you seen them in the last year by catching up for a coffee, a drink after work, out to dinner or generally socialising? Or do you see yourself catching up in the next year?
If not, then you probably shouldn’t invite them for the sake of inviting them. If they haven’t been in your life for the two years around your wedding, then they probably won’t be around for your marriage.
If neither you or your partner know their name or who they are, then remove them from the list. This is a good tip with how to handle your parents guest list of friends. Your parent’s friends really should be people you know and have considerable memories with yourself.
Did you attend a friend’s wedding a long time ago and now you find yourself inviting them only to reciprocate the invitation? Well unless they are still a close friend, remove them from your guest list.
Of course, this is just a guide to help you cut down your guest list if you need a few ideas on where to start.
At the end of the day, you invite you who want to invite. It's your wedding day and remember real friends who respect you will always understand your final decision.
Until next time
Bel x
